Jaipur India

Depress


Jaipur India
lonely old man

Picture was taken in India on my trip on  2010 .

this picture reassemble how i feel right now. angry but i cant let  it out ,sad,scared.  A lot of negative mix feeling  i guess depress is the right word for it?

Feeling kind of sad n depress lately . Maybe due to im lack of sleep and tired after running up and down KK-Sipitang  to do  works for my mom, maybe due to  the reason  gossips from  people who can’t see me live my own life .and due to im hitting 30 and yet not yet married and some people cant stand looking at me .

All this time i thought , my life is my own personal life. Never in my life that i thought what have i done ,  i do , i go out with whom are topics of unknown people and  curiosity  of others. and the worst part , it become a gossips among others. I was like what the HELL ! CAN YOU PEOPLE STAY OIT OF MY LIFE AND KEEP YOUR OWN BUSINESS. !!!!

I am  just a girl who living my own life , i eat , i cry , i hang out with my friends and some people just can’t leave me alone.and lastly it reach the ear of  my parents and sadly .. as any typical  Chinese parents .. the alter ego is so strong what ever other people said seams so true  and what ever i said is just plain bullshit so end up  a lot of unhappy things happen.

It makes me sad, but then what can i so. all i can do now is pull myself back  .. and do my own thing. as long i know im not doing anything stupid, illegal ,  anything that might endangered myself, or  i hurt anyone. hats fine with me . im just too tired of living on other people expectation.

For once in my life, i would like to enjoy my own life via my own way . Amen .

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